


Birds Sing Battles in my Brain

by orphan_account



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Body Horror, Body Sharing, Court of Owls, Dick Grayson is Robin, Dick Grayson is a Talon, Hurt Dick Grayson, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Time Travel, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, William Cobb cares, Young Justice Season 1, autocorrect is a bitch and im writing most of this on phone or so help me, ew that sounds creepy but not like that, like two minds in one body
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24502267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Talon always knew he'd trusted too easily (that's what Cobbie always said). But he just couldn't help it - Cobbie was nice, even if he wasn't on the surface, if you looked past the claws he'd shove into his stomach and knives he'd rip through his heart.Then again, he used to think he knew himself, too.///Talon trusts his grandfather despite everything, maybe to an unreasonable extent. When Cobb enlists a sorcerer to send him back in time, in order to 'help him', he isn't sure what to think.Because he can't remember what was before the Court, before the cold, before the hurt.Because he doesn't understand why Cobb woulddothat for him.Also, why is he in the hero Robin's body? He's pretty sure that's not how time travel works. And he's not Robin… is he?
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & The Team (Young Justice), William Cobb (DCU) & Dick Grayson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 92





	Birds Sing Battles in my Brain

**Author's Note:**

> this description is terrible and i will probably change it, but no matter.
> 
> enjoy!!!

The world is dark and cold and wet and gray.

Cobb huffs out a cold breath as he tilts his claws, watching the golden light refract off the wicked curves of steel with an air of lazy disinterest. He's the only spot of color in the darkness of the Court's Labyrinth tonight, a whisper of gold glimmering in the gray of the walls, the floors, the lights. It's all so _boring_ and _plain_ and Cobb feels that urge again, to paint the floors _red red red_ with blood and guts and watch them drip, drip, drip out and color the world a thousand shades of rage.

Red is beautiful in its own fucked-up way.

Technically speaking, Cobb is retired - not fully, as useless Talons are simply terminated, but as the Gray Son. Cobb wonders sometimes if the current Gray Son knows that he used to be the last Gray Son, that he'd carried the title ~~the curse~~ before him. That Cobb had been exposed to the same world of cold and hurt and suffering of being the Gray Son, the same serum that made them _special_ but also made them _hurt, hurt hurt hurt_ and Cobb has always hated gray.

Cobb remembers, a little distantly, a time that his insides were colored red instead of gray, that if you ripped him open and tore him apart he dropped crimson life upon the cold metal floors. But _Talons_ bled gray and _good little Gray Sons_ bled black, and Cobb is tired of his insides being gray, thinks it would be so much nicer if he just colored himself with the red of others instead.

Cobb could pretend. He was childish, in that way.

Then Dick Grayson had been born, and suddenly all that changed. Suddenly he was just a placeholder, ready to be kicked as soon as the _real_ Gray Son was ready to take the mantle, take his place. It almost hurt, in a strange way - to know that he was just so _replaceable._

But it was also an opportunity, and Cobb knew he had to take it.

(It was how he'd gotten caught up in all of this in the first place, after all.)

He didn't regret giving it up. He was still a Talon, of course, still could heal like an abomination and slit innocent throats in the dead of the night, but he was no longer _their Gray Son,_ no longer really _theirs_ at all and that feeling, that freedom, was irreplaceable. 

He couldn't say he regretted it, even if it meant sentencing Richard to that fate.

One didn't grow up an assassin with a lot of empathy, after all.

Sure, he was Richard's trainer, and he'd gutted the boy more than once, but he'd also been far gentler than any other handler would have been. And when all you had were the scraps, even small mercies seemed like windfalls.

Cobb knew that all too well.

He still remembered the day they brought the boy in with perfect clarity, how the child fought and screamed and there was _so much red,_ Cobb was captivated. He bled red and he wore red and he called himself _Robin_ like it was something that he should be proud of, like it didn't mean he was doomed to die a thousand times over and _hurt_ because he might be red but soon he'd be _gray._

And for some reason Cobb found he didn't want the boy's colors to go away, not quite yet, even as the boy was already starting to fade starting to _break_.

He bled _red_ and Cobb found it utterly fascinating, the hypnotizing crimson that _drip drip drip_ ped down like it wasn't important, wasn't essential at all. He found himself wanting the boy to keep bleeding red, to spill his colors all over the floor and yet at the same time keep them all for himself.

He didn't deserve to be turned _gray._

_(Not like Cobb)_

So Cobb plotted. Planned. Did what little things he could to help, like instead of teaching him the typical Talon battle strategy of just going straight for the kill without any regards for personal damage - they _could_ heal, after all - he taught him to _avoid_ injury, despite the fact it wouldn't matter if he got hurt or not. It would help in the future - the past? How did that even work? - immensely, if all went according to plan.

The Gray Sons were not quite like other Talons. They were more deadly, of course, but that was due to them not simply being mindless killing machines. Sure, they were brainwashed, but not as completely as compared to the other Talons, even able to plan and plot their murders instead of going straight for the throat.

That _also_ meant that, under the right conditions, they would be able to break free.

Cobb intended to do just that.

-

Finding the sorcerer had not been hard. Convincing him to set him free had been a different matter.

The man was just so goddamn _self-righteous_ . Cobb had to restrain himself multiple times to not tear out the magician's throat, because _really._ All this nonsense about timelines and consequences and _nope,_ Cobb didn't care. He just wanted to pay the man and be done with it.

To make matters worse, he had to _wait._ Conditions weren't right, apparently, or some other bullshit he didn't care to listen to. It was so fucking _infuriating_ and Cobb had been _this close_ to tearing out the man's throat.

And then that insufferable _idiot_ had told him only one of them could be sent back.

Him, or Richard. It wasn't a choice at all.

Of _course_ he'd go alone. Richard wasn't really _that_ important to him, anyhow. Not _really._ He _didn't matter._ He _didn't._

...Then why did it make Cobb feel awful and strange and gross inside when he made that decision that was supposed to be easy?

The man had looked at him then, when he'd told him, like he was a monster. "He's a child," he said. "You're just going to condemn him to his own fate?"

 _Not at the cost of my own freedom,_ he'd thought, but all he'd said were, "He's not a child."

The sorcerer had looked at him, then, with something like _disgust_ in his eyes and Cobb was used to that by now, but it had been a long time since it had made him feel so utterly _small._

_-_

He was meeting the sorcerer at the Labyrinth, finally ready for the final preparations, doing his best to ignore the silent shadow perched high above the glittering gray _(gray)_ walls.

Cobb was, daresay it, _excited._ Once he was sent back he'd really truly be _free,_ be lifted of the great weight that was the Court of Owls from his shoulders. He'd finally be _free_ and it would finally all be _worth it._

(He ignored the small twinge of guilt in his chest that Richard wouldn't get to be free _with him.)_

The sorcerer finally emerged, looking impossibly nervously _irritating_ and Cobb itched to slice him open, let his colors shine and rot and _fester_. The impossible man adjusted his tome of spells one last time before turning to face Cobb.

"I should warn you," he said, cautiously (and for good reason, his eye sockets just looked so _gougeable.)_ "This will only send you back in time five years."

Cobb froze.

But _five years…_

...that meant…

…that meant he wouldn't be _free._

At that time, he'd still be in the claws of the Court - goddamnit, he hadn't joined _five_ years ago, he'd joined _five hundred!_

"And you didn't think to mention this _sooner?"_ was all he was able to splutter. This - this _thieving bastard-_

"I'm sorry," the man said quietly. "This spell… it works by destroying your current body, and sending your consciousness back five years into the past to merge with your past self. You won't… you won't be free. Not like this."

And Cobb is so mad and he _itches_

_he wants to tear him to pieces rip him apart watch him bleed bleed bleed_

_slice open that insufferable face, sink in his teeth gouge out his eyes watch the colors warp from scarlet to crimson to rust_

_make him bleed make him pay for LYING because they're all LIARS, THEY'RE LIARS,_ **_LIES LIES_ ** **_LIES_** **_._ **

And then it drifts away and he's left there, chest heaving with undead motion, burning lungs that aren't supposed to suck in air.

And he _hates._

_Himself._

Because nothing is ever that easy, isn't it? He had to trust a fool, and now it's all pointless. _Worthless._ The bastard _lied_ and now this bastard is going to _pay-_

And a thought comes to him, hits him so hard in the face he nearly staggers at the force of the realization, because he can't save _himself,_ but maybe he can save _someone else._

The sorcerer is watching him carefully, and from high above someone else is too.

"Gray Son," he says gruffly. "Get down here."

The shadow watching him startles but knows enough to obey, sliding down the wall and flipping down gracefully to crouch beside him. His posture is stiff and wary, but hesitant. Hopeful.

Talons have good hearing, and Cobb isn't dumb, knows the accursed bird caught every one of his words, the sorcerer's cursed explainations.

And the look on his face is so _hopeful_ that for a moment Cobb remembers what feeling guilt is like, and then…

Ugh. He's always been too soft.

"Take him, then," he growls, with as much anger and pure _fury_ as he can convey in the words. Then, just to be certain, he adds, "if you _must."_

The sorcerer's smile is downright victorious, and Cobb wants to claw it to pieces. Damn asshole probably planned this all along.

"But don't think I'm done with you," he growls at the beast.

The sorcerer doesn't even blink at the vicious promise, instead turns to the boy and crouches to bring him to his height, face utterly soft in a way that would get him utterly killed.

"I'm going to bring you somewhere else," the sorcerer tells him gently, like he's explaining all this to a two-year-old and not a seasoned assassin. "I'm going to take you away from these bad people and bring you someplace warm and safe and back to where the Court won't get you. _Can't_ get you. Do you understand?"

Richard looks so fucking _hopeful_ and his colors shine, shine, _shine,_ and Cobb is so so _jealous_ but maybe he's also a tiny bit happy that the boy doesn't have to be broken anymore, but only the teeny part that's not angry at the sorcerer for leading him on all this time. The _really_ teeny part.

Richard blinks and tilts his head like a baby owlet and points to Cobb and asks in a rasping whisper, "Will can't come?"

Cobb thinks he wants to fall to pieces. And cry.

He hasn't cried since he became a Talon.

Goddamnit, this kid is making him _feel_ things again.

"No," the sorcerer admits, "but you'll be safe. You were Robin before, right?"

Richard just looks confused, and Cobb wants to throttle that _idiot_ because _he doesn't know about that, goddamnit!_

Luckily the sorcerer quickly seems to backtrack, realizing his mistake. "It's alright, I didn't mean anything. But you'll be safe there." He raises his hands. "I promise."

Richard looks panicked, like he's just realizing what's happening - that some crazy sorcerer is going to literally send his mind into the _past._ "W-will?" He grabs at Cobb like some idiot _child,_ and Cobb wants to snarl at him but he also _can't._

Richard begins to glow with a pulsing, fragmented light, and the boy shrieks in alarm and rears back, raising his hands to cover his sensitive Talon eyes. _"Will!"_

He wants to tell him to be safe, that no one will ever try to take away his colors again, that he _loves him._

"Goodbye, Richard," he says instead, and Cobb should be glad that his voice doesn't crack with the strain of emotion, is nothing more than dead monotone, but somehow it just makes him feel even more terrible inside.

_"Will! Cobbie! WILL-"_

The light blazes nova-bright, flares once, and then dies down. The sorcerer shoots him an unimpressed look.

"So, Cobbie, huh?"

-

Talon is confused and scared and why is it so bright? Light hurts his eyes, burn his retinas and everything _burnsburnsburns_ and he wants it to go away, why won't it _go away?_

Talon is small and scared and _confused_ and he stumbles, staggers, everything is _wrongwrongwrong_ what is wrong with him? He thought he was being good, be good for grandmaster, that was the Order! He followed Orders, he _did,_ even when the voice in his head got mad at him or screamed or cried or told him he was a monster. He _tried_ and wasn't that _enough-?_

He stumbles, staggers back. Everything _hurt-hurt-hurts_ and he wants to curl up and be cold, be numb for a while. It's cold and cold is boring, but it's also safe, also means maybe the hurting will end for a little bit, even if it means he has to do the thinking instead. The thinking hurts his brain sometimes, hurts a lot.

Sometimes the thinking hurts more than the hurting and he _doesn't know why._

... but it's _not_ cold, it's hot and bright and Talon gasps and staggers back and he feels _weird,_ feels horrified and disgusted and weird things he can't name and he _doesn't know why, this is weird, this is weird!!_ He wants to curl up and hide in his Best and maybe be not so cold for a while but it is _warm??_ and _safe??_ and Talon kind of forgot what that feels like, this _warmsafehome_ feeling that settles comfortably around him, inside him, but Talon doesn't like it and itches and chafes and fights and yells _trap trap trap_ in his head, but Robin screams _nosafefriendsafe…_ and…

Robin? Who's Robin?

_Robin…_

The man said he used to be Robin, during Before. He doesn't remember from the Before but it kind of felt like this, this warmsafe _home_ feeling but it's wrong, Talon isn't supposed to be safe, _enemy enemy!!_ Talon shouts but Robin settles and whispers _friendhelpsafesafesafe._ It doesn't make sense and he's so _confused,_ is he Talon? Robin? The Gray Son?

…but that wasn't real, was it?

 _butitwasitwasitWAS,_ shrieks Talon, because Talon doesn't like to be _wrongwrongwrong._

He is _wrong._

_He is wrong._

He glances around wildly, no longer sure of where he is. He starts when he sees the walls - is he in a mountain? With… furniture? He's so confused and _what's happening?? where am I am I safe am I danger why why why??_ he's so _confused_ and it doesn't _make sense…_

Then he sees a man. He's dressed in black and had pointed ears and Talon immediately _freaks._

 _BATBATDANGERDANGER,_ trills the demons in his brain and he makes a noise, something pained and small, and Bat turns to look at him and he's scared and talon's scared and robin's scared and he's _wrong wrong wrong._

He's _wrong_ and Robin says Bat doesn't like wrong things, likes to fix things, but he's scared because the Court said they would fix him but what if he breaks him further?

He's scared and wrongwrong **wrong** and he doesn't know if Bat is friend or enemy so he _runs._

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, Talon is 18, but he was sent 5 years back to when he was 13, on the yj team.
> 
> I got this idea at way too late in the night but please tell me if I should continue! This fic would probably be mostly hurt/comfort while Talon tries to regain his memories/heal/make sure the future he comes from never happens.
> 
> thanks for reading !!! <3


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